2003-03-20 - 10:06 p.m.
The academic environment used to be referred to as "the ivory tower" but sometimes I think my work place is more like some kind of small floating island at a remote destination to which I fly every day to spend nine hours in a reality warp. And then I fly out (I envision myself on a large goose, or maybe Dumbo the flying elephant) and pick up the pieces of my life where I left them.... only a few hours ago.... or was it days? All the work puppets just keep going through all the same motions, caring so much about the never-ending business of the office, and the little distractions. Like the soup contest. The Committee in Charge of Employee Morale thought it would be fun for people to have a soup cook off. All the offices form little teams, dress up in costumes, give themselves goofy names, and bring in soup that will be judged for prizes. (Have I mentioned we are not in the food business?) That is one of the many things I don't connect with: the fact that some people seem to believe they are doing us a favor by giving us the opportunity to cook. I usually have an adverse reaction to that. "You mean I have to show up here every day, AND now I have to cook, too?"
I heard about soup today. I heard about a coworker's new baby. I heard about the basketball tournaments: several people were glued to radios in their cubicles today, with occasional cheers going up, when the action got heavy. I heard today was the first day of spring. But nobody talked about the war.
There is comfort to be taken in the details of normal life, but sometimes the little mini psychodramas of work seem completely strange to me, on days like this, when I couldn't get my mind off what is happening in the world. I suppose I am guilty of expecting things around me to be different when my focus changes, of suddenly looking around me with my new war glasses on. Not that I want anything to change, at least not anything that didn't need to change anyway. But I find it to be a very schizophrenic feeling to know that our country is engaging in a war, our national leaders just tried to KILL the leader of another country today, people are attacking American embassies all over the world, the biggest anti-war protests ever (yea!) occurred in this country.... and I am flying out to the Island of Trivial Things every day.
The only thing different I saw today was a crisp, new nylon flag, still bearing its fold lines, affixed to someone's car antenna. And suddenly I wondered why someone bought a new flag on the first day of the war. Flags flew everywhere (including our house) after 9/11, and the flag instantly became the symbol of solidarity and strength. Gradually, some of those flags have disappeared from the scene: worn out, faded, lost. The marketing overzealousness that capitalized on the flag passion by flooding the markets with flag motif sweatshirts, bow ties, rhinestone pins, sneakers, (etc. etc) soon saturated us with the red,white and blue. And now when I see that someone has added a new flag on the first day of war, it makes me wonder if the symbolism is shifting. Maybe because I remember the Vietnam war protests, when the "flag wavers" were the ones who supported the war; the flag was the direct opposite of the the peace symbol. The issues are so much more complicated and multifaceted, now. Even those of us adamantly opposed to the war are hoping and praying for the safety of all the precious lives of our military people. And surely some of the conservative Bushies have doubts about whether this attack is the right thing to do.
I'll probably get very sick of hearing about the war soon. The news media has a way of overdoing everything, so you soon feel as though you have to escape the constant bombardment of information and speculation. I don't even think it is necessary for the local news to give the weather forecast for Baghdad every night, as they have taken to doing lately. But today, at least, I wanted to know all about it.
It seemed fitting that the first day of war was a dark, cold, wet, gloomy, day. But as a first day of spring, today left a lot to be desired.
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