2003-03-09 - 11:11 p.m.
It all started with the retreat, on Thursday. My office organizes a retreat every year, usually held in a big contemporary house full of art and books that the university uses for swanky events. The purpose is for the entire staff to get together and bond, and get a catered meal to help wash down whatever propaganda is officially being served up. And since it is at least a break from work (and surprise--not optional), everyone goes along with it, but this group behaves about like most underpaid people do when they are asked to devote more thought to the job than just showing up: They sit and stare. I might do the same thing myself, except that as one of the supervisory staff, I am eternally on the committee to help plan this thing. So I am usually sweating out the arrangements and logistics, hoping to make the day somewhat profitable. When someone proposed inviting a nutritionist to give a talk, I really though it would be the same old warmed-over information we all learned in health class, but.... we were having a hard time coming up with speakers, so we went with the nutrition idea.
I learned so much from this presentation. Ever since Thursday I have not been able to get my mind off of some of the concepts she presented. Quite simply, most of the "common knowledge" about nutrition (at least mine) is wrong. The typical American diet is so bad, and I knew that. I am not a person who eats at McDonald's or swills sodas all day. I read food labels and buy low fat stuff. But I have always thought that meat and dairy products were required to be healthy.... remember the food pyramid? After I heard all the facts about milk I don't think I will ever drink any of it again. Such as: there are "acceptable" levels (by government standards) of fecal material and white blood cells (pus....yuck!) in milk, and pasteurization doesn't heat it up enough to kill the bacteria. And milk is the source of a lot of symptoms that people call the flu or infections. Animal protein interferes with the absorption of calcium, so all the milk we drink to try and prevent osteoporosis actually makes it worse. We know, of course that animals are fed a lot of antibiotics and growth hormones and other dangerous things, so meat isn't even what we assume it is.... And then there is the whole water thing. Most people don't drink nearly enough water, and our bodies develop all kinds of problems in response to that.
I did wonder if Ms. Nutritionist was exaggerating, or if her ideas were non-mainstream, but after doing so research myself, everything I found supported the information she presented. The meat and dairy industries must be very powerful to keep this information out of the popular media. Well--they are-- look at what happened to Oprah when she said she wouldn't eat beef. The whole thing is really disturbing to me.
So...I have been dragging myself around lately, feeling-- not sick, but just not well. And since I am usually a person who has a lot of energy, I kept wondering why I can't just feel strong and healthy any more. Friday night I barely slept. It was one of those nights when, for no reason, I seemed to be tormented. Sometimes I lay awake and think of all the bad things I have ever done in my life, and all the times I have ever made a fool of myself, and all the times I failed to do the right thing, and everything I am afraid of and dread.... And Friday night I kept thinking about how I take my health for granted, or ignore it completely. I am never willing to actually do anything to make myself feel better. I suppose it is something of a luxury to have been so healthy for so many years that I never had to think about it. But I am not going to have the kind of life I expect for myself as I get older if I don't do something now. I think I have just had a moment of truth. Or maybe I should say, long miserable hours of truth. I woke up with an aching head and an aching back and told myself that I was going to start trying to change that.
I talked to Skootie about all of this and she was game for any changes to our lifestyle. She has been wanting to get a water dispenser that heats/cools so we would have a ready source of good water for drinking and for tea. I was the one who always said: but we have no place to put it. But this time, I agreed: we will make a place to put it. So we now have a wonderful water source, crammed in a corner by the refrigerator, and I think we both drank all of our required ounces of water for the first time in ages.
And today, I went to the health food store and dropped a bundle on soy products and fruits and vegetables. To tell you the truth, I don't even know what I am going to do with all of it. I am not even so sure that I am making a commitment to becoming a vegetarian or what.... but we have decided to quit eating meat and dairy products for now. This will be a big challenge for me, because I grew up eating a lot of meat and I really like meat, and have a rather limited taste for vegetables. But eating is about more than just satisfying your taste. And I don't ever want to become one of those people who refuses to change a habit, even in the face of overwhelming evidence, because "that's the way I've always done it."
So, today was the first day of the rest of my life, I guess. I hope so. It has been a good day. I hope my motivation doesn't wear off in the face of some great temptation, but feeling better will be the best reward of all.
Time to go. I have a date with a bed time snack: a big juicy orange.
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