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2003-01-05 - 9:45 p.m.

I am happy to say the new year seems to be getting much better after the dramatically bad beginning. The knee on which I dropped the toaster oven is still sore and doesn't want to bend but it looks pretty normal. Actually, I feel a little cheated by that. If I am going to have a sore knee for several days, I at least want a big blue and green bruise to prove it, and garner all the sympathy to which I am entitled. Although Skootie has been appropriately sympathetic, and she reminded me that I could call my mother, who can always be counted on for a "Poor sweet baby." But I am tuffing it out.

We had a satisfying weekend. Somehow the "pressure" to make the best use of every moment is now off, because vacation is over. I don't understand how that works exactly, but it just proves to me that state of mind is everything.

We got a lot more of our little house projects done, and even.... drum roll please.... worked in the yard today!! We have these crazy trees that won't let go of their leaves until January (sweet gums.... I think the city must have gotten a bargain on them, because they are everywhere) and usually if we want to have a respectable yard, we are out there freezing our butts off trying to rake them up. Since we do not pursue yard perfection to the point of masochism, needless to say, some years the leaves do not get picked up until spring. But it was incredibly, unseasonably, maybe even weirdly warm all weekend. So we got up this morning (not early...well it IS the weekend) and went to Home Depot and purchased a yard implement: the electric blower/sucker. Yes, we are probably the last home owners in America to possess one of these, but it was a big step for us. As archaic as this may seem, we are people who do not like to call undue attention to ourselves by the production of loud noise out of doors. But I must say, once we accepted the idea, it is amazing how well those machines work. We spent about two hours and managed to collect nine bags of debris.

Well, it is time to confess my new years resolutions. And I have been thinking about which of the dozen or so possible self improvement projects I want to elevate to the status of resolution. I used to just make a long list of everything I thought I should change, and it was no wonder that nothing ever really changed. You can't achieve total perfection just by making resolutions. At least I have learned, with age, not to work on everything at once. My chief resolution for several years has been to get out of debt. And this year I finally did it. I just made my last payment on a credit card balance. That opens up a lot of options for the finances, at long last.

So this year I have two resolutions. The first is a big cliche', but I am just going to suck it up and join the rest of America: I want to lose weight. I am not technically "overweight" but I have added ten extra pounds to my small boned frame in the last year. I need to get rid of it before my body decides to make friends with it, if it hasn't already. So there is my specific goal.

And my other resolution is a bit more nebulous: I want to get out of my ruts. One of the things I most fear is becomming too habit-bound, too stuck in my own little sphere. That can be easy to do when you have the same job for years and live in the same house.... I always find myself with a little nagging urge to move, even though I love our house, and it would not make financial sense to sell it right now. But I grew up in a family that moved every couple of years, and I think I have it in my blood, that thrill of starting over in a new place. My sister and I talked about this once, and we both admitted that even though moving is a huge exhausting task, we secretly love it. But back to the resolution.... I can't move and I can't change jobs, so I need to keep trying new things, and making an effort to keep my world from becomming routine. So I am going to do as many things that I have never done before as I can.

Happy New Year!

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