2002-11-11 - 10:43 p.m.
A long busy weekend, when I didn't even come near the computer. Sometimes that is really good for me.
My birthday happened last Friday.... November 8. And can I just be sappy and say it: I love my birthday. I don't exactly love thinking of myself as another year older, but I have always felt a certain excitement about my birthday that continues, no matter how old I get. In fact, I think it gets more so with age. No matter what I am doing on November the eighth, I am also wearing rose colored glasses and feeling like the very center of the universe. And this year I felt that way all weekend.
Birthday festivities began on Thursday night when Skootie's mother and the major took us out to dinner and presented me with a turquoise and silver necklace. I was actually very touched by their initiating this. It was the first time since I have known them that they have acknowledged my birthday, and so it was a nice surprise. Even though Skootie has kind of a difficult relationship with them at times and a lot of things get swept under the rug in the name of keeping the peace, I do appreciate the fact that they have accepted me into their family circle. They didn't have to.
My sweet Skootie got up in the night and arranged birthday gifts on my night table so that I would have something to open the minute I opened my eyes. The birthday was off to a wonderful start. She gave me a bottle of champaign (which we saved for later, of course) and a small woven basket/box full of little things, and not one but two cards.
As is my custom, I took the day off from work because a day at home, even by myself doing housework, is better than a day of work. I cleaned up the house, and shifted all the binder materials into the smallest possible footprint. I brought in the patio umbrella and lanterns and other summer accoutrements from our neglected backyard. I washed the car (even cleaned the bird shit off the back windows) and got her oil changed. I went to the hardware store and bought stuff like furnace filters and lightbulbs.
And then, having put life in order, I walked down to the bookstore and browsed the stacks all afternoon. I sat in the coffee shop of the big Barnes and Noble and read all the beautiful art books I can't afford to buy, while sipping a mocha frappicino. And felt like I had a wonderful life.
That evening Skootie took me out to dinner at a fun vegetarian restaurant nearby and then we went clothes shopping, which was her big gift to me.
We ended up doing a lot of shopping this weekend, going back Saturday after the stores closed earlier than we thought on Friday. I have several new things to wear. And I got a pair of red shoes, for the first time ever. I always thought red shoes looked like fun, but I have always been practical and bought the black or brown. But this time I thought...so how long do I have to wait? I can have red shoes if I want to. I really haven't taken them off since I bought them, except to sleep.
My son and daughter-in-law, Cary and Kim, hosted the family party for me on Saturday night. They made a lovely soup and salad dinner, and had a rich, gooey fudge chocolate cake complete with candles and ice cream. There were wonderful gifts from everyone: a soft, warm fleece pullover and slippers from Cary and Kim; a beautiful velvet throw from my sister, brother and nephews; two books and money from my mom..... and cards and much oohing and aahing over all of the birthday haul. And as usual, we get into big family conversations. We are truly a family of talkers: we can actually have a ten-person conversation, sitting around together. Sometimes we get onto bizarre topics, but it is always entertaining. I love the way everyone, including the youngest kids, will grab the floor and tell their own stories. It was great evening.
So I have been reading this book that has me kind of jazzed. It is called: a big new free happy unusual life by Nina Wise. I love that title, and it seemed so what I needed, to counteract this spin cycle of work and worry I have been in lately..... and I have finally begun to understand that even a creative person can't be creative AND tied in knots. She talks about sound and listening and movement. She says to dance. (Lots of other things, too, but that is just where I am right now.) I was realizing that, probably like a lot of other adults, I don't really move around creatively at all. I just move as necessary to accomplish what I want to do and then wonder why I get sore from doing unaccustomed things. And I was remembering that I loved to dance, just for the sheer joy of it. So I danced around in my red shoes on my fifty-first birthday, and felt free, and made Skootie laugh and the dog bark. This is my birthday resolution for this year....keep dancing.
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