2002-09-16 - 10:51 p.m.
I usually update on Sunday night, but last night I was in the throes of a project that I started waaaaay too late and had to have done bright and early on Monday morning. It was a good-bye present for one of my favorite coworkers. I was making a book from pictures of all the people who work in our office. I asked everyone to bring me a picture of themselves, and then we took some digital pictures of those who forgot. I had each person to write his or her good-bye message on a separate sheet, and then blew up/edited/ printed/copied the pictures to fit. And bound it all together.
I thought it would be sort of a nice keepsake for her. But when I finished making it, I felt like it was a strangely powerful thing. All those pictures, and all the different people's handwriting. An office can get to be kind of like a family sometimes. There are some people you would never have chosen to spend time with, but since you are together so much, you make your peace and eventually grow into a kind of affection for them.
This Monday morning was the going away party for Mindy. Monday morning seems like an extremely lame time for a party, but it was the only time we could reserve the big meeting room.... so, it became a breakfast party. Another of our coworkers brought in all kinds of Halloween decorations, and had made a banner that said: One Last Halloween. Because Mindy's favorite holiday is halloween, and she always dressed up in some preposterous costume every year, no matter what anyone else did. In fact she was famous for it. Considering the fact that she is six foot two inches tall, she made quite a statement dressed as a green M&M.
She has unnaturally blond hair, and a tattoo of two howling wolves on her belly. She planted flowers outside her window, and pinned a giant map of the moon to her office wall. She proudly displays a crayon drawing that says, in childish printing, WORLD'S BEST MOM. She's an original in a business that always seems to reward carbon copies, but she made it work for her.
There was a huge turn-out for the party. People from all over the university, from administrative assistants to vice-chancellors, showed up to say good-bye. I know she was afraid she was going to cry, but the halloween theme kept it funny at least. We gave her a funny hat to wear: a witches hat with a ball cap brim. It totally messed up her hair in front of all these people and she didn't care.
The boss presented her with a framed print of a painting of the university. He looked like he was having trouble keeping back the tears. He worked closely with Mindy and thought of her almost like a daughter. She had been working for him ten of her eighten years there. I managed to grab the floor for a few minutes to make the presentation of our book. "A card just wasn't big enough."
Later she came in to thank me again for the book. She had waited to look at it until after the party was over. "I didn't cry until I got to your page" she said.
I am going to miss her so much. And obviously, I am not alone in this sentiment. She was one of the most popular people on campus.
I keep thinking of that line in an old Joni Mitchell song: You don't know what you've got 'till it's gone. Because I feel like I didn't really appreciate her.... or maybe we had worked together so long that I took her for granted.
I know why she is so popular. Because she is the most positive, up-beat person I ever knew. She always smiled, and tried to think of something pleasant to say. She could make anything fun.... and frequently did. She really put a lot of effort into making the workplace a happy environment, and doing a good job.
I have been working in this place for eighteen years, too. And I doubt that anybody would show up at a going away party for me. Because I have been totally different. I have kept to myself, and not gotten acquainted with people. I have gone around for most of eighteen years feeling like I got stuck with the wrong life, and I didn't really have to participate in this one. I felt like people needed to realize that I was an artist and couldn't be expected to be anything but bitter and distracted about working in an office. Maybe some of them do, but it doesn't appeal to anyone as much as a bit of simple friendliness. Not that I am not perfectly nice to people I come in contact with. But my attitude in general has been that I don't have to put forth any effort because this is not my real life. Yet I have been living in it for so long now....
The other thing that is making this point for me is the fact that I am involved in interviewing candidates for Mindy's job. And I am amazed at how a candidate can look so good on paper and be such a dud in person. The ability to present yourself well, speak in correct English, and be free from annoying habits in highly underrated. Experience and a full resume are not as important as the capability to be the diplomat that the job requires. Nobody just works and achieves in isolation, and then gets appreciation for it. You have to be out there having relationships with people. You have to make it happen for yourself.
I wonder why I have to be so old before I learn this. It is probably something most people learn at twenty. But I always feel capable of change. In the absence of the one who always cheered everyone up, I resolve to be at least more pleasant. Perhaps even a little cheery. But not perky, though. I draw the line at perky.
�
