thistledown


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2002-08-27 - 11:28 p.m.

I love the way something unexpected can just pop up out of nowhere and change your whole day.

By noon, my day really kind of needed changing. A bunch of insanely labor-intensive yet deadly boring data clean-up projects found their way to my desk.....things having to do with computer systems and thousands of student records. I won't go into the fascinating details. Seeking a little peace and relaxation at lunchtime, I walked over to my favorite little secluded spot on campus, and.....it has become a construction site. Instead of shade and privacy, there are trucks, scaffolding, noisy machines, and a bunch of guys in hard hats who spit a lot. So I decide to just go sit on the grass under a tree.... which (I should learn) is one of those things that always looks like a good idea but isn't. The grass is full of crawling things that are always ready to abandon all of nature for the opportunity to crawl on me. Which is, by the way, a concept I have never understood. So after performing a number of spastic maneuvers designed to get bugs out from under my skirt, I gave up and went back inside.

Only to find.... a message from the professor of a poetry class I took last year. Calling to ask if she could include one of my poems in the textbook she is writing. Of course I called her back and said "yes" so quickly! She is a poet and teacher for whom I have much admiration so I'm flattered that she wants to use it. Published in a textboook. Me. I'm remembering that stirred up mixture of pride and anxiety that I always felt whenever I let a poem go into the world. I always think I will change them when I get better, learn more. Now one of mine is going out beyond my reach.

My poet-self returns, and pushes disgruntled-officeworker-self aside. Yes, I am still a poet, I must just remember to keep looking at the world with an unjaundiced eye. To keep trying to find the "rare word for the rare desire." I must stay out of the ruts, and look for the things I have never seen before. They are there if I don't close my eyes to them.

We picked up the new car tonight. Skootie is all excited and happy about her first new car. I loved the look on her face, and the fact that she took longer than I did to get home. By the time we got home there was no time for a victory drive, but we did go to a far away grocery store instead of the close one. And I got to drive back. But she made me put my glasses on. Tomorrow is the first day of our dual car existence, and what will surely be more flowing, if not poetic days.

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