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2002-08-05 - 9:26 p.m.

As every wage slave knows, the corollary to the cliche' Thank God It's Friday is: Oh Shit It's Monday.

My place of employment is gearing up for the opening of the fall semester, which in the higher ed business is comparable to a holiday-grand-opening-going-out-of-business-truckload sale all rolled into a couple of weeks. Beginning right after this week. So we are in the quiet before the storm. But things are beginning to stir. There are lots of new freshmen around, going to orientations, with just the right casual outfits and scared eyes. With their parents but really embarrassed to be with their parents, so trying to walk in that way that says "I'm not really with my parents here. Notice the distance. Notice how bored and pissed off I am."

And lots of people trying to get paperwork in and accomplish various bureaucratic tasks. Lots of complicated stories. I heard a man tell one of our clerks, "I lost my financial aid paperwork because.....my house got broken in to.....several times." Yeah, I bet somebody just broke in and thought hey, let's grab all this paperwork.

A coworker informed me today that she had figured out how to make really good farting noised by sticking one end of a straw under your armpit and blowing on it. She said just to go in the bathroom and do it, and it was a good way to deal with your frustrations. One of the many reasons she's a favorite of mine.

We have this new guy working at the front desk who is about forty years older than the usual front desk clerks (i.e. college-age kids). I heard he was retired from another career and is just doing this for "fun." (That makes him suspect right there.) He immediately zeroed in on me as someone he wanted to get acquainted with, and started hanging around and asking me all kinds of little questions. I generally see value in being friendly with coworkers, but the only word I could think of whenever I saw him was smarmy. Too nosey, too friendly, too fast.

So I got very frosty. And after about a week of my putting out major "mind your own business" vibes, it worked. Not only is he NOT standing around my cubicle asking questions, be is actually AFRAID of me. I have become the Mean Lady. Whenever he has to get a signature from me or ask me for help he starts apologizing and BOWING. I have to stifle my urge to burst into laughter....I am of course the Queen of the Administrative Center, and should be respected as such, but I have never really required my subjects to bow. Now if I could just get him to fetch my coffee...

I just found out that Upper Management was still "sitting on" (their term) plans to relieve us of covering for someone who quit. So my administrative assistant and I are doing the work of three people, and filling in for others. And they said we are doing such a good job, that they don't see a problem. So once again, virtue is its own punishment.

I'm going to the bathroom. Does anybody have a straw?

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