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2002-07-28 - 10:45 p.m.

It has been a nice round weekend.

Usually the weekends slip away before I have even begun to open their gifts. But this one has been unusually satisfying. I think the key must lie somewhere in the concept of balance. As my grandpa used to say: I'm studyin' on it.

If someone who knows me well were to describe my personality traits, they would probably not think to use the terms "balanced" or "moderate." I've always thrown myself totally into my passion of the moment leaving no stone unturned in my quest for perfection, exceeded all expectations, declared myself a changed person.... and then quit. Obviously there are some problems with this as a life M.O.

If I am to do all the things I value, I have to give up on the concept of perfection and learn the balancing act....

Saturday we jumped in and cleaned up the hut, remembering how nice it is to have things really orderly again after a week of ignoring it. Vaccumed and dusted and everything. Skootie and I both get out of sorts when the hut is messy, and for some reason we don't always identify this as a source of annoyance. Because of the balance thing again: It doesn't have to be perfect, just comfortable.

We did some other mundane chores: bought food, watered the grass, washed the car, did the laundry. What amazing competence!

When two right-brained people live together, things are not always done in a timely manner. Not because we don't want to do them or don't know they should get done, but just because we focus our non-linear thought processes elsewhere. (We once developed what we called the "Reality Check List" for Sunday night which asked questions like "Is there gas in the car?" "What is the balance of your checking account?" But, as you might expect, we were always forgetting to fill it out.)

We did people things: a friend came over and we got Chinese food and watched a movie. Talked to my son.... got my mother instincts satisfied..... to hear he is back in town safe and sound after spending a week in Breckenridge, to hear he is fine and had a fine time. Talked to my sister.... nice long sister talk..... got all caught up. Had dinner with Skootie's parents.

I have practiced my guitar twice this weekend. Not for for hours and hours. Not trying to memorize my first little pieces, to be the most amazing student. Just my thirty minutes a day that I have promised I would do every day.

And I worked on my visual journals in which I do collage and painting. Which is something I always need to do to pull together all the things about life that I see, that I can't always put into words. But today I did something that does have words, an expression of this idea, from Albert Einstein: "The most important decision you make in your life is whether you live in a friendly or an unfriendly universe." I think this may really be one of the big questions. I've been thinking about it a lot.

A storm has blown up to cool the heat of this sweltering day. The wind is dashing the trees against the windows and hitting the side of the house. My desk faces an upstairs window, and I can see the lights flashing far off in the distance.

It is one of those nights when I appreciate the basic rightness of my everyday life.

Tonight I am living in a friendly universe. A nice round, and balanced little universe.

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