2002-07-04 - 3:19 p.m.
"I will be out of the office until July 15...." My extended absence greeting on voice mail is set to warn callers that they won't be getting an answer from me right away. Of course the dorky automated voice lady then says "If you STILL want to leave a message for THIS PERSON, stay on the line...." I always think she sounds a bit sarcastic, but she does seem to discourage the leaving of messages..... which is fine with me..... because: I'M ON VACATION.
The first vacation activity was to attend a family birthday party for my nephew, who turned eleven on July 2, and Skootie, who was born on the fourth of July. The birthday parties are a ritual in our family. They always kind of follow the same pattern: We gather at someone's house for cake and two kinds of ice cream. We light the candles on the cake and sing and laugh at our slaughtering of the birthday song, because none of us can sing worth a darn. Someone usually makes a joke about getting a "combo plate" which means both kinds of ice cream. We sit around and talk, sometimes telling stories about our lives, sometimes just acting silly. There are usually a couple of practical jokes, a few photographs taken. We open gifts and pass them around the room for everyone to see. It is a comfortable ritual for a family that doesn't observe most of the traditional family occasions. We are a bunch of individuals who gather to celebrate each individual in turn, rather than gathering, as most families do, to celebrate our "famliness."
The dynamics have changed over the years. We used to focus on the kids, but most of them are teens now and off into their own all-important scenes. Eleven year old Freddie is the youngest... and he seems to have adopted the role of being the family entertainer. He is already known for his convincing pratfalls in public, funny hair dos, and telling jokes at family gatherings. So his mother decided to surprise him with.... a pie in the face. Whenever he saw it on TV, he would always say," I wish some one would throw a pie in MY face!" So someone did.... we were all outside, as prearranged, and my brother jumped out from behind a bush with a coolwhip pie. And it was a big laugh, although Freddie had to get the cool whip out of his nose before he could join the fun.Getting a pie in the face was probably more fun to think about than experience. I think this is one of those things that will live on and probably grow funnier in the retelling. One of those family legends. "Remember the year Freddie got a pie in the face?"
And then as if that were not enough, they had relighting candles on the cake. We all laughed when the candles burst back into flames. But one thing they don't tell you about those candles is: how do you get them out when you WANT them out? Suddenly we realized the joke was over and the cake was blazing away. So we were grabbing at the (by then dangerously short) candles and trying to dunk them into a glass of water. By the time we had that situation under control, there was wax, water, icing and smoke everywhere. "Remember those relighting candles?"
I am always touched by how my funny family has adopted Skootie into their ranks. They gave her thoughtful birthday gifts last night, and notched her name into the song in that funny way that people always do when singing for two. They didn't know exactly what to think of our relationship at first. They were willing to accept it for my sake. But as the years have gone by, they realize what a very cool (i.e. interesting and kind and funny and smart) person she is in her own right. And really want her to make herself at home in the family.... in their own individual ways, of course. I love that about them.
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